


Half a dozen different ways the confession scene could have gone and maybe sucked a little less as written by someone who knows nothing about Supernatural.

by AgentAngeles, AlithiaSigma



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Dean's jacket is tagged because dean is wearing a jacket, Homophobia, I literally know nothing about this fandom, M/M, Queerbaiting, The Empty (Supernatural), and i presume the jacket dean is wearing is his own, cringe compilation, i have never watched an episode of supernatural, shitpost, skyrim?, this is my first supernatural fic, who the fuck is jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentAngeles/pseuds/AgentAngeles, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlithiaSigma/pseuds/AlithiaSigma
Summary: I know next to nothing about Supernatural and wrote this fic while listening to the confession scene on repeat.Gifted to the person who watched me write it. They also wrote an ending.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Half a dozen different ways the confession scene could have gone and maybe sucked a little less as written by someone who knows nothing about Supernatural.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentAngeles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentAngeles/gifts).



> Apologies to literally everyone who reads this fanfic. Not on my behalf, but on the behalf of the two idiots I don't know how to write.

Castiel looked into Dean Winchester's eyes, crying. "Because you cared, I cared, I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack. But I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean."

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Dean stood there, expression unreadable.

"Because it is." Cas continued on. "I love you."

An awkward silence filled the space between them.

Dean leaned in a little bit, waiting. "Dean?" Castiel asks.

"You're uh. You're going to say it, right?" Dean looked from side to side, waiting.

Say what, Cas wondered. He'd just said he loved him. What more was there to be said? Amen? That's what humans said when they finished praying, sometimes. Castiel wasn't opposed to worshipping Dean, but this didn't seem like what Dean meant. So he asked. "Say what?"

"You know." Dean said, with increasing intensity, eyes widened slightly. "No homo. You-you were going to say it, right?"

The background noises stopped. There were no slimy tendrils, or sounds of slimy tendrils. Any suggestion of slimy tendrils was completely gone. No more. I have no context for what the reaper making the banging noises were, so those can stay. 

Castiel stared at Dean Winchester, expression suddenly blank. "What." 

Everything suddenly became very awkward. 

"You, you mean, you're..." Dean stumbled on his words, trying to regain some sort of sense of normalcy. "You're an angel, right? You can't be, y'know. Since. Yeah." 

Cas frowned. Then he slapped Dean. "God made gay people too you absolute homophobe." He was no longer happy. He was mad. Why did he love this absolute bastard? If that white man, aka Chuck, aka God wasn't apparently their enemy or something right now, he would be begging him for patience to deal with the wonderful, compassionate, ridiculous, demon-hunting homophobic idiot that stood in front of him. 

"Yeah, but, I just. I didn't think. Since uh." Dean was at a loss for words. 

"You really didn't think, huh, Dean." Castiel sighed, with the weight of exasperation only a gay angel learning his crush was a goddamn homophobe could know. 

"....Sorry." 

Then Dean's phone buzzed.

* * *

"When Jack was dying, I made a deal. To save him." 

"You what?"

"The- the price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever."

"Okay." Dean nodded. "So we just need to make sure you're never truly happy. Ever." 

"What?" This was not how Cas planned for this to go. This was not how he was planning to say goodbye. Being told by the man he loved that they needed to make sure he was never truly happy when he believed he was already experiencing true happiness wasn't part of the picture. 

"Yeah. The Empty will be waiting for you to experience a moment of true happiness. It's not that hard. True happiness isn't something people find easily even when they're looking for it. Maybe it's a cold beer on top of a mountain or raising a bunch of kids or standing on a beach, watching the sunset with someone. I dunno. I don't have any real experience with happiness. Regardless, you don't have to go to the Empty. Always leave something that you want, and never get it. Something that you want to do? Never do it. I can't say it'd be great, but you can still be happy. Isn't that better?" 

"So that means I can't—" Cas started. 

Dean put a finger over his mouth. "Don't say it. Don't even say it. Please, Cas." Dean didn't know. Not for sure. But Cas wouldn't be saying what he was saying if it wasn't important. He wouldn't be saying it if he didn't think it was important. Important enough to damn him to a fate worse than hell. 

The tears that were welling up in Castiel's eyes began to fall. "But if I don't... Dean, it'll eat at me. I can't. I have to." 

"I know, Cas. That feeling you have, the unspoken words, the burning desire to just get it out... That's what keeping you here. That's what's keeping you alive. It hurts. It's going to hurt. I know. But it will mean you won't go back there. It means you won't... you won't leave me." 

Castiel smiled sadly, even as the tears fell. Dean wanted him. Dean wanted Cas to stay. This man understood the situation, knew what it meant, knew that Castiel was about to leave him and stopped that. And he could never tell him that he loved him. 

"I'm sorry." 

Then they hugged. 

Then Dean's phone went off. Dean pulled back from the hug to answer it. 

"Hello?" 

"Dean. That was really gay and Cas is going to the empty anyways because we hate you. " 

Then the writers of Supernatural hung up. 

* * *

"I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse. I wondered what it would be, what... what my true happiness could even look like... and I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want? It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness... isn't in... the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it."

Dean was confused. "What're you talking about, man?" 

"I know... I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, you're angry and you're broken, you're- you're Daddy's blunt instrument, and you think that... hate, and anger, that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not, and everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done- the good and the bad- you have done for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth, you're the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack. But I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean."

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Dean stood there, expression unreadable.

"Because it is." Cas continued on. "I love you."

"Cas.... I respect you. I respect your feelings. But..... I am not a homosexual. I'm not really looking for a relationship either. I care a lot about you, Cas, but.... I can't commit to something like this. My heart's just not in it. I'm sorry." 

Castiel was devastated. Thousands upon thousands of years he had existed, but not once had he ever known this feeling. The feeling of having your best friend and crush totally reject you at your most vulnerable. He fell to his knees. 

He waited for The Empty to take him. He wanted it to take him. But it didn't come. He'd thought it would. Happiness was in the being. Was in just saying it. But he wasn't happy. He'd just poured his heart out to Dean, only to be told that he wasn't interested in a relationship. He hadn't even meant it romantically- not entirely. He loved Dean, would always love Dean, but this wasn't about how he wanted to hold Dean's hand and kiss him under the moonlight. This was about how Dean meant the world to him, how Dean was the reason he cared. 

And Dean dismissed it without a second thought. 

Dean's phone started vibrating. 

* * *

“I love you.” With that, he knew. There was no going back. The silent truth he’d held for years, out in the open. A single look at Dean’s face confirmed what he’d always suspected- the man didn’t feel the same.

“Don’t do this, Cas.” Poor, silly Dean. This, clearly, was the only way to save him. To save Sam. To continue their quest of saving people, hunting things. And, as much as he’d love to follow alongside, Cas knew that his story ended here.

The Empty was here.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

He shoved the man aside, just enough to push him out of the way, as tendrils of black ooze encircled him. The two made eye contact- all Cas could do was smile, now at peace, as the Empty took him and his vision faded to black.

\--

In what felt like only seconds and also lifetimes, sound returned to him. The feeling of chilled winter air, old wheels, a distant horse. Cas’s head hurt, body sore. He was moving. Had Dean somehow done the impossible? Had he brought Cas back from the Empty? What a damn fool, doing all of that just for one-

“Hey, you. You're finally awake.”

Cas’s vision clears. The man in front of him isn’t Dean.

“You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.”

* * *

"Why does this sound like goodbye?" Dean asked, struggling to put the pieces together. 

"Because it is. I love you." 

That's when it all clicked into place. Despite all that Cas had been saying, it wasn't until now that Dean realized what it meant. Castiel was happy. Castiel was finally confessing to him, and the pure happiness from just saying it was enough for the Empty to consider the condition of true happiness fulfilled. There was nothing he could do. Cas would be gone forever and Dean would never see him again. 

It wasn't right. He couldn't let it end like this. 

Dean grabbed Castiel with both arms. 

"Dean—!" Cas protested, trying to push him away. 

Dean shut him up, planting his lips on Cas'. He could hear the Empty coming. He didn't care. Cas tried to save him again, to push him away. Dean only pulled tighter. 

Castiel gave in. They kissed. 

And they were damned to superhell together. 

* * *

"When Jack was dying, I made a deal. To save him." There were tears in Castiel's eyes. 

"You what?"

"The- the price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever."

"Why are you telling me this now?" Dean stared, expressionless. 

"I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse. I wondered what it would be, what... what my true happiness could even look like... and I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want? It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness... isn't in... the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it."

Dean was confused. "What're you talking about, man?" 

"I know... I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, you're angry and you're broken, you're- you're Daddy's blunt instrument, and you think that... hate, and anger, that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not, and everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done- the good and the bad- you have done for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth, you're the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack. But I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean."

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Dean stood there, expression unreadable.

"Because it is." Cas continued on. "I love you."

"Don't do this, Cas." 

Cas could only gaze into Dean's eyes. 

" _Cas._ " Dean begged. 

"Goodbye, Dean." 

Castiel was ready for the inevitable. 

But it didn't come. 

Cas looked at Dean. 

Dean looked at Cas. 

The reaper continued making whatever nonsense noises it was making. 

Nothing happened. 

Dean's phone began vibrating. 

Dean picked up. "Hello?" 

The voice on the other end was terrifying. 

**_Is this Castiel?_ **

"No, but he's here with me." 

Silence. 

"Would you like to talk to him?" 

_**Yes.** _

Dean passed the phone to Cas. Cas wiped his eyes and tried to steady his voice. "Hello?" 

_**Telling Dean you love him isn't true happiness. I'll come take you away when you're truly happy. Live in fear, angel** **boy.**_


End file.
